The Daily Depressing - 5th May 2010

Wrong Number?

The ISP I work for was revamping and changing some of the phone lines. The phone company we had been working with wasn't very reliable so we were slowly getting rid of those numbers and adding new numbers using a different phone company. We knew this would cause problems with the customers so we made certain that 2 months before the changeover, emails were sent to all the customers letting them know of the changes to come. Then when we got the new phone numbers, we emailed again letting everyone know the new numbers. As it grew closer to the change over, another set of emails went out once more giving the new numbers and the date of the change. Finally, the day before the change, one more go around with emails to every customer.

The first week of the new phone numbers was awful. We had over 80 calls an hour and this is a small ISP! No-one read their email.

I answer the voice mail for the company at night so when they close, it's all up to me. I remember one customer read our email, which in itself was amazing, but for some obscure reason told me "Yeah, I read it, but I didn't think it applied to me" Now why in the world would he think that?

I had another customer leave a message who was furious. "I've been calling for 3 days and the line is just busy all the time. What's wrong with YOU PEOPLE"? You have no idea how much I dislike those two words. I phone him back and asked him what number he had been dialing and sure enough, it was the old number. I told him that the number had been changed and before I could tell him what the new number was, he started arguing with me.. "No, that's impossible...the number did not change"

I was a little shocked and unsure of what to say. "Well, I'm sorry sir, but yes the phone number has been changed and here it is." So I gave him the new number. Then I told him I would walk him through putting that number into his dial up networking, so I began the process...Click on My Computer, Dial Up Networking, etc. Finally I get to the part where he clicks on properties and can type in the new number. After I do that I ask him to go ahead and try to connect using the new number. That's when he tells me that he did not follow my directions because he knows there is no new number and he wants to know why the number he is dialing will not work. I'm flabbergasted. I have no idea why this person will not accept the fact that the number was changed. Finally I'm just about to give up and I ask him why he won't even try the new number. His reply: "I didn't give you permission to change my phone number so I know it can't be that."

 

Oh great!!! Now not only is he being ridiculous but it turns out that the problem really wasn't even that he was using our old number...He was dialing his own phone number and wouldn't believe that there was a new number because he didn't authorize anyone to change his home phone number.

It's calls like this that make me want to set my hair on fire and run naked through the streets. (grin)

Thanks to: Mary Maurer

 

From www.TechTales.com December 1998

The Daily Funny - 5th May 2010 (2) ;)

No Title

I work for a Software development Company. Our programs are database programs that keep and manage data, most of the users of the system are HIGHLY dependent upon the data that the system contains. Our users are typically entry-level and not always computer literate.

Me: Tech Service how can I help you:

Customer: They told me at the home office that you would help me get my program running on my new computer.

Me: Sure, Do you have the old computer running.

Customer: No I don't have the old computer, I sold it two weeks ago.

Me: Did you do a backup of the program before you sold it?

Customer: No but I did take it to the computer store and had their technician erase everything on the computer before I sold it.

Me: Why did you do that?

Customer: I did'nt want the person who bought my computer to see my customers.

Me: How can I restore your program if you did'nt do any backups of the data?

Customer: Can't you just send me a new program?

Me: Sure I can send you a new program but all of your data is gone, it will be a blank program.

Customer: Are you sure? Maybe I could talk to another technician, may be he can retrieve my data!

Me: Sure thing let me give you his number, maybe he can fix it, have a nice day.

And I did give him to another tech, I gave him to the Marketing Manager that trained him on the program.

Thanks to: Anonymous Tech Supporter

 

From www.TechTales.com January 1999 (last couple were actually from February 1999, page was labelled incorrectly)

The Daily Funny - 5th May 2010 (2) ;)

Balls Away !

Picking up the phone, I hear a secretary scream :

she : (my name) ! The ball has fallen out of my mouse !

She got another mouse.

Thanks to: FRaNKy

 

From www.TechTales.com January 1999

The Daily Funny - 5th May 2010 ;)

A Father’s Love Is Very Console-ing

Video Game Store | Scotland, UK

Customer: “Excuse me, could you give me some advice please?”

Me: “Sure, how can I help?”

Customer: “I was looking to buy a Nintendo 360 for my son.”

Customer’s Son: “Dad! It’s an Xbox360!”

Customer, to me: “This is how much help I need. Would you please?”

 

From www.NotAlwaysRight.com

The Daily Funny - 4th May 2010 (2)

Tale of the Tape

I was working at a Pro Audio shop a few years back here in Toronto, when I received a distress call from a doctor who
had purchased a cassette deck from us and was having trouble
getting his cassette into the machine.

The conversation went something like this:

ME: "First, open the cassette door. There's a button
just to the left of the window. Press it."

DOCTOR: "OK, the door opened".

ME: "Good. Now slide the cassette into the door, with the end with the tape exposed going first".

DOCTOR: "It doesn't fit".

ME: "Is there a tape in there already?"

DOCTOR: "No."

ME: "Are you inserting the end with the tape first?".

DOCTOR: "What do you mean 'tape'?"

ME: "Look at the cassette. At one end you can see
the audio tape exposed."

DOCTOR: "I don't see it."

ME: "Describe the tape."

DOCTOR: "Well, it's rectangular, about the size of a deck of cards".

ME: "OK. Are there two holes on it?" (thinking it might be an 8-track tape) .

DOCTOR: "No."

ME: "Where did you get the tape?"

DOCTOR "I just bought it at (record store withheld)".

ME: "Sir, you have to REMOVE IT FROM THE CASE!!!"

Thanks to: RNoel

 

From www.TechTales.com January 1999

The Daily Funny - 4th May 2010

I work in the entertainment department of a huge store. I was restocking CD-Rs when a middle-aged woman came up to me.

• Her: "Excuse me, but what is in those colorful boxes? I'm looking for toys as a present for my nephew, and I just know he'd like a colorful box like that."
• Me: "Well, the toy department is upstairs, b--"
• Her: "...and in case they're jack-in-the-boxes, could I get one custom made, because I bet you don't have the color combination I'd like anyway."
• Me: "They're...not jack-in-the-boxes, ma'am. They are CDs."
• Her: "Oh! Kind of a big box for a CD. Does it come with lots of leaflets, or is it just air? I hate that way of--"
• Me: "No, no, no, you see, there's ten CDs in one box."
• Her: "Ten?! Oh my goodness, that's a lot of CDs. What kind CDs are they?"
• Me: "Well, we have CD-Rs in these, and CD-RWs over here. These ones are scratchproof, so they cost a little more--"
• Her: "Oh, I don't know about these modern things so much. Have you got any jazz?"
• Me: "Excuse me?"
• Her: "See, an old person like myself, I haven't even heard of scratchproof music before. I like jazz."

I tried to hold my poker face for every cent of my hourly wage.

• Me: "No, these CDs are empty. We have jazz over th--"
• Her: "Yes, I was over there, and there was nothing new. I already have them all at home. But do you have any jazz in these bulk boxes?"
• Me: "No, ma'am, I'm afraid we're all sold out of the jazz ones."
• Her: "Well... this box is $8.99, and at the jazz section I'd pay more for only one CD!"
• Me: "That's true, but these are empty, as I--"
• Her: "This is a pretty good deal, ten CDs for less than a tenner!"
• Me: "Undoubtedly, but--"
• Her: "I'll take this!"
• Me: "Ma'am, the CDs are empty. You won't hear anything."
• Her: "Oh?"
• Me: "I buy these myself all the time, and there's nothing on them."
• Her: "Maybe your volume wasn't loud enough. Or you had unplugged your speakers?"

When had she become tech support to me?

• Her: "I'll buy these. This is very cheap. You are a good salesperson!"
• Me: "Thank you, ma'am, but--"
• Her: "I'll just have to see if my nephew listens to scratchproof."

I took a long, long break after that one.

 

From http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_cdroms.shtml#2

The Daily Funny - 3rd May 2010

Not About To Start A Revolution

Retail | Barrie, ON, Canada

(A young female customer is paying for a work order. Her friends are nearby.)

Me: “The tech also recommends a tire rotation.”

Customer: “Oh okay…is that something I could get a friend to do?”

Me: “If they’ve got a jack and the lug nut key, sure.”

(Her friends come over.)

Customer: *to another young female friend* “I have to rotate my tires.”

Customer’s friend: “I thought they did that when you drive?”

 

From www.NotAlwaysRight.com