The Daily Funny - 15th June 2010

High School Dropouts Work On The Pharm

Pharmacy | Boston, MA, USA

(I work as a pharmacy tech at a chain pharmacy. I am also currently in pharmacy school and will be a pharmacist one day.)

Customer: “You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Me: “I’m sorry. Can I help you with something?”

Customer: “No! I refuse to be helped by a high school dropout! You should be ashamed of yourself for working where children can see you! You are going to make them think that it is okay to not have an education!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am not a high school dropout. I have a high school diploma and I am currently in pharmacy school working towards a Doctor of Pharmacy. I am going to be a pharmacist one day.”

Customer: “Stop lying! I have never heard of a pharmacist before. You are a high school dropout!”

Manager: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes! Your employee is lying to me! She says she is going to be a pharmacist! That job doesn’t exist!”

(The manager looks at our pharmacist who is near tears from laughing so hard.)

Manager: “Ma’am, see the man over there? He’s the one who filled your prescription. He is a pharmacist.”

Customer: “No he isn’t! He just counts pills! You don’t need school for that!”

 

From www.NotAlwaysRight.com

The Daily Funny - 8th June 2010

Customer's From Planet Mars!

I work for an ISP in New Zealand and I had a customer call who was quite clearly a native English speaker and yet I could swear he was from another planet. The conversation went like this:

Cust: I can't connect
Me: What phone number are you dialing
Cust: My username?
Me: No, the phone number
Cust: Oh, my password?
Me: No, the phone number
Cust: Oh - (gives home phone number)
Me: That's your home phone number sir, is that entered in the phone number field?
Cust: No it's in the dialing from field
Me: Okay, so what's in the phone number field?
Cust: It doesn't have one
Me: No, it will have one, it will have a phone number that you are meant to be calling
Cust: So you want my username?

Quite seriously this went on for several minutes until we found out that he had ONLY *52(disable call waiting) in the phone number field and nothing else...at all! Then we went thru and I asked him to put in the area code in the dialer and the phone number which he said he had done.

Then *52 wouldn't come up - even tho it was ticked so we went back to properties to find out he hadn't entered the area code even tho he said he had.

So, we did that.

Then we had to change the country code to New Zealand from USA and this took 10 minutes because he was looking in the Y's for NZ despite being told that it was alphabetical *almost groaning out loud at this stage*

FINALLY we got it sorted and he actually asked me WHY it hadn't worked!!!!! He was quite shocked when I said he hadn't been dialing any phone number.

Is it any wonder I am changing professions!

Thanks to: Blair Cooke

 

From www.TechTales.com May 1998

The Daily Funny - 3rd June 2010

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2

Retail | Duluth, MN, USA

Me: “Your total is $152.37.”

(Customer begins to write out a deposit slip from the back of her chequebook.)

Me: “That’s a deposit slip, not a cheque.”

Customer: “Oh, so I can’t pay you with this?” *confused look*

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Oh, well take it out of this then.” *hands me a roll of cash* “But don’t take more that $75 out of there.”

Me: *takes $75 out of roll* “And how would you like to pay for the rest of this?”

Customer: “Umm…” *confused look* “I have to pay more?”

 

From www.NotAlwaysRight.com

The Daily Funny - 2nd June 2010

Fighting Crazy With Crazy

Tech Support | Texas, USA

(Keep in mind that I’m male with a deep voice. We do not send techs to troubleshoot; troubleshooting has to be done on the phone, then we send a tech to replace parts.)

Me: “Thank you for calling ***. How may I–”

Customer: “Send me a tech to fix my computer.”

Me: “Well, what’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “It’s not working!”

Me: “Well, ok, but in order to get it working again, I would need to know what exactly is wrong.”

Customer: “I just told you it’s not working. Send me a tech to fix it!”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do that. I can help you perform some troubleshooting and–”

Customer: “Why the f**k can’t you just send me a tech?”

Me: “Well, like I said, I can’t do that. All I can do is troubleshoot with you on the phone to find out what’s wrong and then–”

Customer: “WELL THAT’S GREAT, A**HOLE! I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY! SEND ME A TECH, NOW!”

Me, fake crying: “Why? Why do you hate me so much? Don’t you know how hard it is for a single mom with 5 kids to make a living?” *sob*

Customer: “???” *hangs up*

(I got written up for that. It was totally worth it though!)

 

From www.NotAlwaysRight.com

The Daily Funny - 28th May 2010

I didn't hear you....

I had been having problems with an SGI machine not booting. It was reporting a SCSI device error on the boot disk. I placed a call with Technical Support at SGI, and before long an engineer rang back. The call went:

me: I can't boot the system - it reports (error).

Engineer: OK. Remove the disk. Can you tell me the  manufacturer and model type.

me: Hang on ..... yep, it's (make) and (model).

Engineer: Right. Bang the disk edge onto a desk.

me: Sorry?

Engineer: Bang the disk edge onto a desk.

me: OK (bangs disk)

Engineer: I didn't hear you bang the disk. Do it again, but harder.

me: Errr, OK (bangs harder).

Engineer: Harder!

me: (bangs the disk so hard that it puts a dent in the desktop - I'm not kidding you either)

Engineer: OK, that's better. Now put the disk back in and try.

Did this, and the machine actually booted OK. The disk was one of a faulty batch which suffered from sticking drive heads. A new drive was despatched, but in the time before it arrived on site, it was not unusual to see me smashing this disk on the nearest desk just to get the machine to boot!

Thanks to: Anonymous Tech Supporter

 

From www.TechTales.com June 1998

The Daily Funny - 20th May 2010

Start?

I work in Tech Support for a Major ISP. One day I recieved a call and a very good point from a customer!

Customer: *panicking* This is my first night at work alone and my boss told me to shut down the computer! They told me to shut it down using the shut down menu and to absolutely NOT under any circumstances push the power button because I'd lose information!

Me: *calmly* Ok so you need me to show you how to shut it down?

Customer: *now crying* YES!

Me: Ok, it's ok...no problem...use your mouse and click on the Start button in the bottem left hand corner....

Customer: *hysterical* I DON'T WANT TO START THE DAMNED THING I WANT TO TURN IT OFF!!!!!!!

Me: Ohhhhhhh ma'am that is how you shut it down...

*we continued the shutdown and she was calm by the end and she said...."why in Gods name did they do something so stupid as to put the 'end in the beginning'" I couldn't argue...*

Thanks to: Erin

 

From www.TechTales.com June 1998

The Daily Funny - 19th May 2010

Pane-ful Marriage

Retail | Phoenix, AZ, USA

(A customer who has just made a purchase comes back into our store asking for help; she’s locked her keys in her car. I go out to try and help.)

Me: “Ma’am, your window is open.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Your window. It’s open.”

(The customer reaches in and gets her keys, opens the door, rolls up the window, locks the car, throws the keys back inside, and closes the door.)

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “I know! I know! It’s just that I already called my husband to bring the second set! He’d have given me h*** if he saw the window was open!”

 

From www.NotAlwaysRight.com