The Daily Funny - 15th April 2010

Fix the net!

Nothing to do at work, so I'm sending these in as I remember
them. This one's from my time doing internet support:

Customer: What the hell is wrong with your internet?
Me: Our internet? What page are you trying to reach on
our site?
Customer: www.aftonbladet.se (major swedish newspaper's
site, _definitely_ not a page we were in any way affiliated
with), and it says it can't find the page! I demand that you
fix it right now!
M: Well, not to be impolite (lie), but that's not one of our
pages.
C: What? You proved me with internet, right?
M: We provide you with internet _access_...
C: Right! And it's broken, so I suggest you fix it _right_now_
or I'll take this to the press!
M: (pinging server he's trying to reach, can't get through.
Tracerote, find out that for some reason access is through
a finnish server, which is not responding) Well, it seems like
you're being routed through a finnish server, and for some
reason it is down at the moment. I suggest you try later.
C: WHAT? THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE! I DEMAND THAT YOU FIX IT!
M: Sir, if you have a problem connecting to the net I can
help you, if not I suggest that you try waiting a little while.
C: I want to talk to your supervisor! I have influence you know!
I'm paying you guys for my internet, and you _will_ fix it!
M: (being overly helpful as lunch is drawing near and I need
to get rid of this asshole) Sir, I just found the phone
number for the finnish company owning that server, if you
like I could give it to you so you can call them.
C: You mean I have to call Finland for you guys!?
M: No sir (looking around frantically for a supervisor,
but they've instantly all gone for lunch when they heard me
talking to this customer), we have nothing whatsoever to do
with that server. We are _not_ the internet, we just give
you access to it.
C: THAT'S A LOAD OF %¤&#%&/" BULLSHIT YOU &¤&/#%(, I'M GOING TO
#%/¤&#/ SUE. I HAVE INFLUENCE YOU KNOW, YOU'LL ALL BE
VERY SORRY!
M: I already am sorry I took this call. Thank you and
good day. (hang up)

Thanks to: Rickenbacker

 

From www.TechTales.com March 2000